Pride: What Not to Do This Weekend

Sorry to be a killjoy, but it’s not just sex that’s dangerous. Kissing or skin-on-skin contact can probably spread monkeypox. And even if you were one of the lucky few to get vaccine, you won’t be fully protected until August.

This is a good week to avoid the New York Pock Exchange/Shutterstock
  1. Don’t have sex with men you don’t know, even with a condom.
  2. Don’t rub your bare skin against the bare skin of men you don’t know.
  3. This year, kiss your friends on the cheek, not the mouth.
  • That the outbreak was triggered by gain-of-function research.
  • That it is a bioweapon used in Ukraine that escaped from the battle zone. (Ukraine has reported zero cases. Too busy for orgies, presumably.)
  • That the outbreak is another “plandemic” plotted out during a 2021 tabletop exercise involving the Gates Foundation, Big Pharma and people from Davos so that vaccine companies can cash in.
  • Or possibly that it actually stems from a traffic accident in Pennsylvania last January in which a pickup truck carrying 100 caged lab monkeys collided with a dump truck. Four monkeys escaped, and rifle-toting police were ordered to hunt them down as firefighters shone thermal detectors into the trees. (The four were recaptured but then euthanized, the Associated Press said. “No reason was given as to why they were killed,” the anti-vax article notes.)

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Donald G. McNeil Jr.

New York Times, 1976–2021. Last beat: lead Covid reporter. 2020 Chancellor Award; 2021 NYT team Pulitzer donaldgmcneiljr1954@gmail.com